Adapting your communication styles when working with a neurodivergent client

You may have read my recent blog about adapting your communication style for clients (if not, you should!), but should you also look at adapting your communication style if you are working with a neurodivergent client?

I touched on this in my earlier blog, and as a neurospicy Virtual Assistant with many ADHD clients, my answer is YES! 

You may be neurodivergent yourself, or perhaps you are working with a new neurodivergent client. Considering your communication styles in these scenarios can make all the difference in your working relationship.

What are the most important things you need to know to make these working relationships smoother?

Understanding, flexibility, and clarity.

As with all clients you work with (neurodivergent or not), if you can put these three points into action then you are on steady ground and both parties will benefit.

Neurodivergent individuals may be diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) with conditions such as ADHD. As with all conditions, this can present differently in people, so this is not a definitive guide. However, here are some general things you might experience:

• Sharing thoughts quickly: People with ADHD may feel the need to quickly express their thoughts to avoid losing them. This can sometimes result in interrupting others during a conversation.

• Brain dumping: Those quick thoughts? May not come with breaks, meaning that a lot of information is delivered quickly with no time to process 

• Needing support to focus: Some people find it helpful to work alongside someone, or use body doubling where you arrange a time to sit on a call together whilst working through your tasks. This method helps some to remain focused on their tasks.

• Experiencing overwhelm: Some people may find breaking down tasks into manageable steps challenging, leading to occasional overwhelm. This can be eased by helping them break tasks into more manageable chunks and by putting clear organisation in place.

• Occasional forgetfulness: When balancing multiple tasks, neurodivergent individuals may experience difficulty keeping track of everything. This may sometimes result in forgetting smaller tasks or details.

So, as a Virtual Assistant, how can you best support a neurodivergent client?

Ask how they prefer to communicate: Everyone has their own preferred method of communication. Some may prefer emails over calls, while others might find voice notes easier than writing messages. By asking “What’s the best way for us to communicate?” you will be better placed to best meet your client’s needs.

• Be clear and concise: Avoid vague instructions or overly complex explanations. Use bullet points, structure emails clearly, or break tasks into smaller steps to reduce any feeling of overwhelm.

• Give processing time: Not everyone can respond immediately. If someone needs extra time to process information or formulate a response, be patient and allow space for that. This helps to ensure that they are heard and properly understood.

• Give yourself processing time! If a client is brain dumping, use a transcription service and let them know you’ll revert later on. Make notes while you listen to recall the key points of the conversation. And (if the client is ok with it), don’t be afraid to interrupt to keep them on track. 

• Use visual aids or written follow-ups: For some, a quick written summary after verbal instructions helps reinforce key points. Visuals, colour coding, or mind maps can also be helpful for some. Project management tools like Trello (you can read more about this tool here: My VA tech stack) are great for keeping everything organised, but may be overwhelming for your client - you can still use it though!

• Be mindful of tone: Some neurodivergent individuals may interpret language literally, so be clear in what you mean and avoid any vague phrasing. This helps reduce any potential miscommunication.

• Create a judgement-free space: Encourage open communication so that both you and your client feel comfortable expressing what works best. A simple “Let me know if this format works for you” can make a big difference in maintaining a positive working relationship.

Adapting your communication style isn’t about making massive changes. It’s about meeting someone where they are and creating a supportive way of working together. After all, great communication is about ensuring everyone feels heard, valued, and understood.